Characters:
MR. BIGGMAN—a big time executive of about fifty years; condescending and empowered, Biggman is the type of guy who hands a homeless guy two quarters and smiles for all the good charity he’s bestowed

LESLIE ELLIS—a potential employee of Biggman’s investment banking firm; smart, savvy, and personable, Leslie is the perfect candidate for the job

MR. YESHMIN—a young man around the same age as Leslie, applying for the same position

MARK—Mr. Biggman’s assistant


MR. BIGGMAN sits in his office, a large, sterile room for a big-time exec. On his desk are various pictures of his wife and kids. The clock is set to 9:00 and doesn’t change throughout the entire interview process.

Biggman, looking down at a piece of paper: Hm, Mr. Ellis. Ellis. I like the sound of that.

Enter LESLIE ELLIS, carrying a briefcase and sporting a tailored power suit.

Biggman: What are you, the secretary?

Leslie laughs uncomfortably.

Biggman: Oh, I’m just kidding, kiddo. Get on in here, sit down. You must be Leslie.

Leslie rips of her suit to reveal a schoolgirl outfit and pulls down her hair to create pigtails. The briefcase is pushed under the desk.

Biggman: Now, Leslie, or should I call you Les? That’s sort of cute, isn’t it? Les?

Leslie: Mr. Biggman, my name is Leslie Ellis and I’d like to show you my resume, if I could?

Biggman: What do you think, sweetie? Of course. So, Les, why are you applying for a job as a stockbroker? A lot of other options out there for a girl like you.

Leslie bends down under the table to retrieve her resume. As she does so, Biggman clearly gets a good look of her breasts. Leslie pulls out a couple strands from the pigtails and pulls off the girlie sweater, revealing only a bra. She pulls off her skirt to reveal red panties.

Leslie: Well, I’ve always been in interested in business.

Biggman: Eh, what kind of business? I’d have the mind you’d go down...another path.

Leslie hands the resume to Biggman, who puts it down on his head without moving his eyes from Leslie’s breasts.

Leslie: Always finance, Mr. Bigmann. Ever since I was a little girl, and my dad took me to the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. So now I’ll get to my credentials—Yale University, Harvard Business school, I also worked at—

Biggman: Part of a sorority?

Leslie: Excuse me?

Biggmen: I mean, were you a sorority? Or, I mean, a part of a sorority? A member?

Leslie: Mr. Biggman, how does this relate to the potential job? I desperately want this opportunity, and am a strong, hard worker who has a lot of experience and intelligence to bring to—

Biggman looks up. Immediately Leslie goes beneath the desk, pulling back on the suit and putting away her resume.

Biggman: Leslie, I don’t think we can have your attitude in the office.

Leslie: Excuse me?

Biggman: It won’t mesh with all of us. Or anyone, for that fact. Too strong-willled, if you will. Just too much. Too much.

Leslie: This is an executive position, Mr. Biggman.

Biggman: And this is a Fortune 400 company, Mrs. Clinton.

Leslie huffs and leaves, slamming the door behind her.

Biggman: Jeez, what a b****.

Enter Mark, assistant to Biggman.

Mark: Mr. Biggman, we have your second interviewee here, a Mr. Yeshmin.

Biggman: Indian?

Exit Mark. Enter Yeshmin.

Yeshmin: Parents, yes, but I was adopted. A bit reverse, isn’t it?

Biggman stands up and shakes his hand.

Biggman: A lot of curry growing up?

Yeshmin: Oh, yes. So here’s my resume—

Biggman: Thank you.

Yeshmin: As for credentials, I--

Biggman: Oh, I don’t need to hear that. You seem like a good man, Mr. Yeshmin.

Yeshmin: Well, sir, I couldn’t—

Biggman: You’ll hear from us in a month. Mark?

Enter Mark.

Biggman: Mr. Yeshmin here will be joining us in a month. Send an email to the rest of the staff.

The clock changes to ten. Biggman and Assistant leave. Only Yeshmin remains.

He slowly changes from a simple dress pant to a full suit, slicking back his hair, and carefully applying a gold watch.

Biggman: Want some coffee, Yesh? Les is going to grab it for us.

Yeshmin: Damn right I do.

Fade away. All exit.