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Effects of Death Essay- the introduction

November 11, 2011
By PaigeKim BRONZE, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
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PaigeKim BRONZE, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
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In vision a bitter, motionless body, lying on their death bed; as their soul departures the still, decaying bones. The contemplation of death triggers the breathing human body, and is left there feeling somewhat unfilled within. The emotion dies within the living body as if it was the decaying body’s heart slowly stopping, grasping for its last breath. The effect of the decaying corpse stops the world from revolving; the world seems to collapse. Although it’s rigid, moving on is the only way to heal a busted heart.

© Yisrawayl G., Philadelphia, PA

The author's comments:
This is only my introduction to an English essay I had to write about a book I currently finished. I felt very powerful when writing it and I feel like my introduction was so stop, I wanted to share it!
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This article has 5 comments.

novella BRONZE said...
on Nov. 27 2011 at 10:44 pm
novella BRONZE, Greer, South Carolina
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your welcome! would you check out some of my work? :)
PaigeKim BRONZE said...
on Nov. 16 2011 at 12:34 pm
PaigeKim BRONZE, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
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Thanks! It means a lot. I would have continued with the whole essay but it would have been pointless concidering it was something written for a class. But I appreiciate your feedback a ton! :)
PaigeKim BRONZE said...
on Nov. 16 2011 at 12:32 pm
PaigeKim BRONZE, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
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Thank you so much! My teacher is still correcting the essay, but when I get it back I will be sure to let you know! :)
AnimaCordis GOLD said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 2:41 pm
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Evil is when the good do nothing&quot;

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Thank you for sharing it, it's a very gripping opening. Espitailly the opening sentence. I like your use of what i call 'harsh' objectives, eg 'busted' it gives the writing a bite to it. Those harsh sounds are softened by the softer ones eg 'grasping' so the peice doensn't come accross as cruel or, I don't know, grusome? Whoever marked that essay was lucky! 

Do you know what mark you got for it yet?

novella BRONZE said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 9:10 am
novella BRONZE, Greer, South Carolina
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I liked it! I actually wished it was longer cause it was so good, but I totally get the length considering what it is. great job! you really have a powerful, moving way with words:)