Friends Forever
8/31/97
der diry
my name is sam and i am 5 yrs old. today we moved in to a nwe howse and mommy gave me this jurnal to rite in so mayb i can b a writr wen i get oldr that wuld be fun. let me tell u about the howse. it is old and smells weerd it has lots of doors and windows and wen i step on the grownd it makes a noiuse. i am gowing to a nwe skool tomorrow i am happy becuz every one is happy. i am a little skared to go to skool cuz i dont no the other kids i hope they r nice. i hav to go to sleep soon cuz tomorow is a big day. my room is small and freaky i dont no why. i cant wait to sleep cuz daddy got me a nwe bed. goodnite.

9/6/97
der diry
ive had a weerd week. at skool kids lookd at me funny wen i told them were i liv i dont no why. my teacher says i rite nice but we hav to fix some things i dont no wat things. i like skool cuz of lunch and reces and mayb it will make me a bettr writr. mommy and daddy fite less now and that makes me happy. every one is so happy! that's an exlimatiojn point, ms kinnie showd me wat it is. i hav made a frend alredy his name is charly piker. i dont no if thats how u spell it but he is very nice. he talks to me a lot and makes me less skared i hope we r frends forebver. im tird i dont want to rite no more. goodnite.

9/13/97
der diry
do u remember my frend charlie piker? thats a question mark ms. kinnie showed me how to use it. anyway, last nite he told me about himself and i think we r going to be frends for a long time. he says he is going to show me how to rite cuz he is my frend. he told me about wen he was my age and his mommy and daddy fite a lot to and he said he can help me. he is so nice i like him a lot. he said he used to b a sikologist and help kids like me. but then something hapened and he had to leve. i think the other kids were mean to him. so we r going to help each other. he is my only frend. the kids at school say im weird i dont no why they r mean to me. but theres this 1 girl named patty she is pretty. shes nice to me i want to marry her i think cuz she has nice eyes and gave me a cookie.

10/1/97
Der Diry,
Mommy and daddy fite a lot now and it makes me sad. I dont no why they fite a lot I think it mite be kind of my fault cuz i bit mommy the other day. I dont know why. I felt relly weird and I got really relly mad at her cuz she wuldnt do my math homework for me and I wanted to hurt her. Mommy and daddy look at me weird now and they whisper a lot. I told Charlie about this and he said she desurved it cuz she didnt do wat she was told. I love Charlie so much. At nite wen I cant sleep he tells me storys about him. 1 time he was playing with a sqirel and he gave it wings so it culd fly! I think that is so cool I think he is also a vetrnariun. He bites his nales a lot to. I think it mite be cause he gets nervous a lot. He told me that. At school Patty doesnt talk to me no more and she wont say why. It makes me really sad. I gave her flowers the other day but she didnt want them cuz she said they were dead.

10/12/97
Dear Diary,
Ms. Kinnie is very proud of my writing. She says Im getting better every day! But she says I need to seprate my thoughts so they make sense.
I think this is what she meant.
I did sumthing bad the other day. I didnt mean to though. There was a bird on the ground and it had a broken wing. It wouldnt stop chirping so I hit it with a stick to make it stop. It stoped making noises and it lay there so I think I killed it. But when I told Charlie he said I helped it go to sleep and I did a good thing. I still feel kind of bad.
Since flowers didnt work the last time, I gave Patty some chocolates. She looked at me funny but took them. It made me happy. But then I saw her throw them out later. I hope she ate some of them.
Did you know Charlie can go through walls? It was really cool. I tryed to tuch him but he wuldnt let me. I dont know why. Hes so pale I told him I think he shuld go out in the sun. He laughed really hard and said I was funny. I laughed too but I dont know what was so funny.

10/20/97
Dear Diary,
Patty and I are going out now. Im really happy about that. The other day I gave her a cookie and she yelled at me to leave her alone and she threw the cookie down and smashed it. I got angry at her and punched her in the face really hard. She started bleeding and crying but I told her to shutup. When Ms. Kinnie saw Patty she came over and asked what happened and I told her that Patty fell. She cleaned her up and I told Patty we are going out now and she didnt say nothing. I think I love her she always smells really nice.
Charlie says he is proud of me. But I think hes sick cause he keeps getting paler and paler and now I can see all the way through him. When I told him this he said not to worry. He is fine. He is a psychologist and knows what is going on cause thats kind of like a doctur.

10/31/97
Dear Diary,
Today is halloween! Im so excited to go trick or treating tonight. Im going as a ghost, mommy and daddy arent dressing up, but my baby sister Alex is. Shes a ladybug. I hope I get a lot of candy so I have extra to give to Charlie.
I asked mommy if Charlie could come with me. She looked at me funny and asked who he was. I said he was my friend that visits me a lot especially when Im sad. She smiled at me and said maybe next time before going to talk to daddy. I told Charlie about this and he yelled at me saying I should never tell my parents about him. He said we are secret friends and friends listen to friends. I told him that I want him to be with me all the time and he said he will be soon. I dont know what that means.
Its very dark out and is getting late. The house looks weird and the other big houses in the neighborhood are all decorated, but ours look the best. Theres pumpkins all over and a scary witch in the front!
Im so excited I cant write no more! I have to go get ready!

11/11/97
Dear Diary,
I have been very busy lately which is why I have not written in a long time. Mommy and daddy are making me go see a psychologist now, kind of like Charlie. It's only cause Patty told on me cause I keep hitting her. I wouldn't have to hit her if she listened to me. Nobody ever listens. Except for Charlie.
My psychologist is a man with lots of wrinkles. His name is Dr. Bert but he said I can call him just Bert. So I said okay Just Bert I am Sam. He laughed really hard and said I should be a comedian. But I said no I want to be a writer.
He asked me lots of questions. Like why I hit Patty. So I told him and he asked if I had any friends. I said yeah. And he asked who. I was about to say Charlie but then something stopped me. There was a voice inside my head and it sounded like Charlie! The voice told me not to say anything anymore so I kept my mouth shut. The doctor kept asking me questions but I didn't say nothing. He got frustrated and wrote a lot of things down. Then I left and I didn't say anything until I got home.
At night I asked Charlie if he was talking to me at the doctors and he said yeah he was. Now Charlie will be with me all the time! I'm so happy!

11/21/97
Dear Diary,

Today was a really fun day! After school I went out in my backyard and played in the woods. There was a bunny hop hop hopping around, it was really fluffy. I wanted to play with it, but whenever I got close it would run away. That made me sad so I threw rocks at it. I threw a really big one that made it go to sleep. When I went to go look at it there was a lot of blood everywhere, but Charlie said it was being overdramatic. So, I picked the bunny up and named it Bobert. I played with Bobert a lot and threw him around and caught him in the air! I think I should play baseball because of that. But Bobert started to get boring so I got a stick and cut him open. He had a lot of insides they were gross and mushy. I went home after that and washed my hands.

Dad sat me down with him today and said he needed to talk man to man. That makes me happy because I'm a man now! Charlie was really happy for me too. Dad said that if I needed to talk to someone that I could talk to him. I was going to tell him about Bobert, but Charlie said that my dad was lying and I shouldn't trust him. So, I just said thank you and went up to my room.

I can barley see Charlie now, I am getting very worried. I said maybe I should tell Bert about you so you can get better. Charlie said that Bert can't be trusted either. I asked him if there was anybody that I could trust and he said him.

I guess that's what friends are for.

12/9/97
Dear Diary,

In school for the past week we've been doing Secret Santa's. That's where you get people presents, but you don't tell them that its you. I got this boy named Jeremy, but I don't like him, so I didn't get him anything. All of the presents were piled up on this table, and I really wanted them. Charlie said I should take them at recess when nobody would be in the room. He said I deserved all of the presents. During recess I asked if I could go to the bathroom, but instead I went to the room and stuffed all of the presents in my bag. When everyone got back, they were really mad, especially Ms. Kinnie. She kept yelling at everyone, and then took me aside at the end of the day.

"Sam, do you know where the presents went?" She asked me.

Don't tell her, you won't get to keep your presents then! You want to keep them, don't you?

"I have no idea, Ms. Kinnie." I said to her. She sighed really big then and shook her head.

"It's okay if you did, I just need to know. The other students want those presents, they paid money for them."

She can't be trusted. She's a b****, don't listen to her. Cry, it'll make her feel bad and leave you alone.

I started crying then and she did leave me alone. I don't know why I don't always listen to Charlie, he always knows what to do. I wish I was that smart.

12/15/97
Dear Diary,

I am incredibly mad at mom and dad right now. They don't understand me! They keep sending me to see Dr. Bert and the same thing keeps happening: We sit down, he asks me questions, I say nothing. Instead I have conversations with Charlie in my head. He told me that he was put in jail for a long time, but he wouldn't tell me why, which is strange. He said that he eventually escaped and came back to his house. I asked him what he did afterward, and he said that he killed himself. I think that is a terrible thing to do, and I wish he had stayed. We could have been the best of friends.

Since mother and father will not stop forcing me to go see Dr. Bert, I feel the need to retaliate in some way. I am tired of this utter bullshit. I am tired of this life that I am trapped in, forced to go to school with a bunch of drooling idiots that cannot even comprehend the English language. They all make me sick, especially that bumbling bamboo, Patty. I don't know what I ever saw in her.

My fingers are covered in Band-Aids, I can't seem to stop biting my nails. It makes it very difficult to write and get my school work done. I appear to bite my nails whenever I get nervous or when I am frustrated with a fellow class mate. I'm not entirely sure when it started happening, but Charlie said that I should put Band-Aids on them and if that doesn't work I could put nail polish on them. If this progresses and gets worse, I will most likely follow his advice.

I am also annoyed with Alex. Late at night, when I am immersed in deep conversation with Charlie, she wakes the house up with her incompetent wails. It drives me insane. Our conversation is then interrupted and I have to pretend to be asleep so that mother and father do not worry too much. Charlie said that I have to stay off their radar, for now. So, I am attempting to act like a 'civilized child,' even if that means not killing anybody in my preschool class.

Charlie said his time will come soon enough.

12/24/97
Dear Diary,

I have gotten my revenge. Never in my life have I been happier than I am now! The only rather depressing part about all of this is that Charlie has disappeared completely and I can no longer see him. However, he has taken refuge inside my mind.

I have killed Alex. I went in to see her late tonight, and I almost chickened out, but then she opened her mouth, her face scrunched up and I knew she was going to cry, so I pulled out the knife and shoved it in her head, right between her eyes. It was a very clean cut actually. She stopped right away, I don't think she experienced any pain. I then lifted her up and carried her downstairs. Since I never got to decorate for Christmas because I was with Dr. Bert, I thought the walls could use a little red to get in the Christmas spirit. I smeared her blood on the walls, and I must say I think I should become an artist now. I placed her body under the tree, this is my present to them.

Now I am on the streets. I cannot go back, who knows what will happen. Charlie isn't speaking to me much anymore, but I feel like he is still here with me. I'm just going to follow my head and go wherever it takes me.

1/13/98
Dear Diary,

oh my god i am so scared i dont kno what is happening to me. its charlie he is doing something to me. Do Not Listen To Him hes taking me over i cant stop killing people i thought he was my friend But I Am Your Friend You Don't Trust Me Anymore theres so much blood everywhere why is there blood i dont know if its my blood or someone elses bood i just want my mommy and daddy i miss them so much No You Don't, They Never Listened To You and alex oh my gosh i cant believe i hurt her he killed her No You Did, You Had The Knife, You Hated Her i dont know what to do. i want help but i cant go back everyone hates me they think im sick. i see my face everywhere people are calling me demented saying im a murderer You Are A Murderer. i just want to be happy again. i want things to go back the way they used to be i want to be alone.

But You'll Never Be Alone. You Have Me. We're Going To Be Best Friends Forever.

charlie is my best friend.