Walking down a never ending hallway, filled with judgemental peers who are waiting for you to fall. Keeping your head down, swiftly attempting to reach point B. Your own insecurities screaming above any other conversation attempted. This is what most of my days felt like during High school. For one reason or the other I felt constantly watched, judged, and laughed at. I was convinced that everyone around me saw what I saw in the mirror, and that terrified me. I only ever had a break when I was alone, so that became my preferred state. The thing about living this way is, it gets lonely. 

I wish it was as easily done as it is said, but learning how to accept yourself is truly the key to everything. I heard it always preached  “self confidence is a must”, but that was always impossible for me to achieve it seemed. Until I realized what it really meant. Self confidence doesn't mean seeing no flaws within, but instead it was simply accepting they’re there and learning to be happy with them. This was a task that at some points in my life seemed impossible, unimaginable even. I was so used to hiding myself behind my own shrewd of self doubt that I had forgotten what anything else felt like.

It gets better however.I had to realize that I was not alone in this feeling. That those same peers that I was convinced judged me, were in fact struggling themselves. I realized that as High schoolers, we often can find similar ground if we try. This led to me eventually opening up to those around me, and coming together as a shared support system. Not everyday is amazing, some days it does feel like that dark place is creeping up on me. This is when I look at myself  extra hard , flaws out in the open, and remind myself that I’m loved, strong, and deserve the world. Even on days when this seems like the furthest thing from the truth , I say it, because that's what everyone deserves to hear. 

The struggle of me vs myself is one of the hardest I’ve ever faced. I can't run away from it, or fight it, but instead I’m forced to face it and silence it. Although I’m not nearly done with this battle, I know I'll come out on top in the end.