All the good that comes from the bad | Teen Ink

All the good that comes from the bad

June 2, 2015
By MarissaScavelli BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
MarissaScavelli BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments


I Interviewed my grandmother Gloria Limbers. She is 77 years old and she will be 78 on the 11th of November. She currently lives in Edison Park and grew up around the same area. I interviewed her about her life as a single mother and the hardships that she faced throughout her life because of that. We also talked about her divorces and the struggles she went through with and because of that.
   
How old were you when you got married?
I was 18 years old. I got married in October and the next month was my birthday and I turned 19.
What was your marriage like?
It was good for a long time, a very long time. It was very good.
How long were you married?
14 in a half years to my husband George.
What was the reason for the divorce?                             
We got divorced in 1968, we were married in 1954. Then we got divorced because he kept on cheating on me and I just couldn’t put up with it anymore.
How did you know he was cheating on you?
A lot of reasons.. [pause] Well he kept on lying to me.
Did you catch him?
No, I never caught him, but I knew he was cheating on me because he would come home and smell like funny perfume.
When you were still married to George was their anything you changed for him?
Yes, I changed my religion for him. He was Greek Orthodox. My mother was very against it being Lutheran. I was learning a lot. I went to the Greek assumption church on Harrison and Central in Chicago and we got married there too at the assumption and then um [laughs] what was really bad was I was getting so involved with the Greek Orthodox religion, I was really enjoying it more so than Catholic. It just was different, they had different beliefs.
So then when my son Chris was born his name was Xristos (pronounced christos) in greek. I had him christened and I had Georges cousin John as the godfather and Maria his wife as the godmother. So what they did was they would take the baby and completely undress them and they would submerge them completely under the water and that scared the heck out of me because as a little infant you think that they couldn’t breathe, but they did it 3 times, ‘in the name of the father, the son and the holy ghost’ whatever. But my mother got so upset, being a good Norwegian Lutheran,  “How could you let them do that Gloria? Oh my god that was terrible! Why did you let them do that?” I said mom thats part of the religion.
After the divorce did you stay with that religion, Greek Orthodox?
No, I would go to church once in a while, but I never proceeded with that at all… no and I went back to Lutheran for a while but i’m not going to church at all right now.
How many kids did you have with him?
I had 3 beautiful children. I have a Chris, I have a Tom and I have a Nikki.
How old was your youngest child when you got divorced?
She had to be going on 3 years old.
It was obviously legalized in court?
Yes, we went to court.
Did you receive child support?
He was bad about it. He would never give it to me like a schedule thing, there were many times I would have to take him back to court to get child support because he was so involved with so many women and then he never saw his kids. He was not a good father at all.
So basically you were on your own?
Yes, I was on my own. In 1968 I lived in Mount Prospect with my 3 children. I had to get a job and I had to pay rent. My kids were wonderful. We lived in an apartment complex called Stonebridge. I was blessed that my kids were good.
When you were married did you have a job?      
No, not at all. I never worked while I was married to him, so afterward I had to get a job.
After the divorce how old were your kids?
12, 10 and 3.    
                                                                                         


Do you remember how their lives changed?

I never noticed it. They were always very good, the same personalities. They were very good boys they had a lot of friends where we lived, so they kept busy that way and my daughter adjusted very well.
Did you guys ever go on vacation?
No, we never went on vacation, we couldn't afford it. We might have went up to Wisconsin for the day, but thats about it.
Did you have a car?
Oh yeah, always had a car.  Oh you gotta have a car!
How often did they see their dad?
Not often at all. Sorry to say, he was very bad about that. He wouldn't see the kids hardly at all. If he did see them he would only see them for maybe 3 hours; he never kept them overnight.
Was there ever a schedule visitation?
Nope not a schedule at all. He denied all….[pause] just didn't want any….[pause] he was too busy with the girls.  
How was your financial situation?
I had to pay my rent, which was cheap years ago. [laughs]
Was getting groceries and clothes harder?
Oh yeah. But thats why I had to take George to court quite often to get child support and that helped me and I got $260 a month from him, thats all.
DId your parents help you at all?
Nope. I got no help from no body. As the years went by I met a man named Tony. I married him in 1984, then he built a beautiful house in Arlington Heights, it was gorgeous, so we lived out there for a long long time.
So Tony helped you with your kids?
oh yes Tony was wonderful.
After the divorce how old was your daughter when you met him?
She started high school when I was still married to tony. Then we split up.
How long were you married to Tony?
I was 47 when we got divorced, so 9 years I was married to him.
What was the reason for the divorce?                                      
Tony and I didn’t get along anymore. He was a wonderful man, a real nice man, but I hate to say this…[pause] he wasn't a clean man about his privacy and hygiene. So I don't know, one thing led to another and he was a pig as far as the house; if I would leave him alone for a few hours there would be crap everywhere.. I don't know, one thing led to another I couldn't handle being with him anymore, so I moved out and then I got a settlement from him and we moved in with Grandma and Grandpa over here at this current house.
So you had some money from him after the divorce?                                                    Yes, I got $10,000 from him and that helped and Nikki continued high school out there;
she would drive back and forth everyday because I got a new car and she got my old car and so it all worked out.
Were you able to financially support yourself?
Yes, everything was working out good and then of course my Tom went on his own and he got married and then it was Nikki, me and grandma and then grandma got so bad and she died. [grunts] and here I am 30-some years in this house.
How was your relationship with George after your divorce with him?
Bad.
Did you ever talk to him?
Just about the kids when he would call me but he didn’t give a darn about nothing... only about himself.
Before George died were you on good terms with him?
Never talked to him. We never talked. Well he moved out to Arizona and lived out there for a couple of years then he moved back here and then I don’t know, I never saw him. I would see him at certain parties and it would be hello, goodbye, that was it. He was involved with his wife Jerry and she kind of controlled everything.
How was your relationship with Tony after your divorce with him?
Tony was wonderful. He loved Nikki until the day he died. He was crazy about Nikki, he was wonderful he was really a good guy that way; he was wonderful. He wanted me back so bad, I didn't want any part of him, except that he was always so good and he always came to everybody’s birthday parties and he loved you kids but he was a good guy in a lot of ways but not for me, not for marriage, no no no.
After your second divorce how long was it until you got in a relationship with Bill?
Quite a long time. Before I met Bill, I was single and I was enjoying my life and I was very blessed that my children were good children.
Were you able to financially pick yourself back up?
Yes, it was hard but then I worked at Carsons at Harlem and Irving and they put that store on commission so everything I sold that was big money in my pocket. Oh man, did I make the money there, I really did. One paycheck that I got was almost $400 and in those days that was a lot of money per week and i’ve been living a good life ever since.
How many grandkids do you have?
I have 9 grandchildren and at the present time I have 7 great grandchildren. They're all wonderful and good and very polite and nice. There’s not one brat. They’re all nice.
Do you babysit?
Nope not anymore. No one asks me anymore because of my leg too, it’s hard for me.


“So that’s my story. Here I am today thank god i’m okay. I'm getting better. Thank god, thank god, i’ll get better and better, hopefully, but i’m old i’m gonna be 78 for god sakes!”
“You’ve had an exciting life”
“I had a nice life. I had a very nice life because I have 3 beautiful kids. I have you and all my other grandkids now, they're wonderful”   
 



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