“You guys will do great. I love you.” 

I looked up at my mom, and she smiled at me. Her hair was in a ponytail with bangs framing her face. Her smile felt familiar, and I didn’t want to get out of the car. The car door opened, and my sister jumped out. I knew I was supposed to follow her, but I was stuck in my seat. My stomach was tying itself in knots. I regretted eating cereal for breakfast. My sister was running towards the school. She looked back quickly but kept going. I kept looking at the door hoping she would come back out and get me. She didn’t come back.  

I had planned on following her into school. My mom told me that she would show me where to go. That was the only thing I knew I was going to do. The day before, I had pictured it all in my head. I would follow her into school, and she would show me where to go. Following her would be easy, and I wouldn’t be scared at all. Now how am I supposed to know what to do? I am not used to going places alone and the thought of it made my stomach even tighter.

  I heard the slam of car doors opening and shutting around me. The radio hummed in the background but I couldn’t hear what it was saying. My heart was pounding in my throat. I just wanted to go home. I didn’t even know where to go once I got inside. Going to school was new to me, and I didn’t think I could’ve been more nervous. 

”I have to get to work. You’re going to be okay,” my mom told me as she looked towards the school. I followed her gaze and saw more kids than I had ever seen before. They all had backpacks hiked over their shoulders as they walked into school. Some looked so big like they could squish me with their foot. I reached for the door handle, opened the door, and hopped out of the car. My new tennis shoes made a small thud as they hit the pavement. I closed the door behind me and took one last look at my mom. 

There was no turning back now.

As I started walking into my new school, I looked down at my feet. My new shoes were tied, thanks to my mom that morning. They matched the color of the sidewalk leading me to the school. The school looked so much bigger than I thought. Next thing I knew, I'm at the tall doors. I tugged on the handle, struggling to open the heavy door. As it opened, a rush of warm air hit me. I took a deep breath and walked through the next door, held open by someone else. I looked around, not knowing where to go. I felt butterflies going crazy in my stomach. It was loud from voices and laughter. I headed to the only place that I knew in this new, unfamiliar school. 

I walked nervously into my teacher’s classroom. It was familiar to me since I was here a few short weeks ago for kindergarten orientation. The yellow chairs, arranged at tables to face the board, were the perfect height for me. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. As I looked around, there were no other kids in the classroom and I didn’t understand why. Maybe I went to the wrong class or it wasn’t the first day of school. My stomach started to hurt and I wanted to go home. I looked around the room. There was a wall of shelves filled with toys. Each container with a dark green lid was labeled by what was inside. A colorful stack of board games accompanied the other toys. I saw my favorite game, Candyland, and instantly wanted to play. 

“Hi,” my teacher said. I looked towards the voice with wide, young eyes. My teacher looked the same as the first time that I met her. She was wearing a summery dress with colorful flowers on it. Her blonde hair was straight and looked soft like a new blanket. My throat felt dry and no words came out when I opened it. 

“If you get to school before eight, you can just wait in the cafeteria until the bell rings before you come to your classroom. If you want, you can put your stuff in your cubby and wait here until eight,” she said.

“Okay,” I squeaked.

I turned around and my eyes instantly filled up with tears. I let them trace their way down my face without wiping them away, not wanting to show that I was crying. I walked to the cubbies and stared at the names above each cubby written in sharpie on a happy looking fish. I found my name right in the middle. I hooked my backpack on one of the two little hooks in my cubby. My Jansport backpack was black with purple, pink, and green dots all over it. I picked it out myself and was so excited about it. Now I don't feel any excitement staring at my backpack and the empty cubbies around me. Not knowing what I was supposed to do, I sat down in my cubby. My feet dangled trying to reach the floor. 

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling my salty tears continue to squiggle their way down my blotchy face. I licked my lips and could taste my tears. I sniffled as the bell rang, which I would soon find out shows it’s eight o’clock. Soon I heard other kids shuffling around me, putting their backpacks in their cubbies. The boys were in a hurry shoving their backpacks in the cubby. I stared down at my new shoes. I kept my head down and let my bangs cover my eyes. I didn’t mean to start crying, but I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I looked up and saw the other kids playing with toys and working on puzzles. I wiped my running nose with the sleeve of my sweater and got up. I wanted to go and play with the other kids. 

As the day went on, I realized I had no reason to cry, and I liked kindergarten more than I thought I would. Even though I was so nervous about school, it was fun. None of my classmates asked why I had been crying, and I made friends right away. Just because I was nervous about something doesn't mean it was going to be bad. Going somewhere by myself wasn’t so bad. 

I was never used to doing things by myself. I was always with my mom or following my older sister around. This new step in my life taught me that I can be my own person, and I am old enough to do things by myself. This was the start of me being independent and not being scared to do things. 

I walked over to the wall of toys and grabbed a puzzle. Sitting down, I opened the puzzle and start putting it together. The box smelled old and the sizes are taped, holding it together. A girl came by and sat by me, picking up a puzzle piece.

“Hi, what's your name,” I asked.

“I’m Madi,'' she replied, putting a puzzle piece together. We finished the puzzle together and did puzzles together for the rest of the year. To this day, Madi and I are still friends. We may not do puzzles anymore but we still talk every day. Kindergarten wasn’t so bad after all.