Wind whistled as clouds were engulfed into the darkness of the night. Thunder boomed far off in the distance, then very close. I knew what would come but to even think about it made shivers run down my back. Soon I would hear the chilling pounding of rain against the windows of my bedroom. With every clap of thunder the house shook, slow and menacing. At eight or nine years old, all I wanted to do was run into my mother’s arms and be shrouded in her embrace, away from the monstrosity that was forming beyond the walls of my room. Unfortunately, this was impossible due to the fact that my mother and father were both on a business trip. My grandfather and grandmother had left to the grocery store. I thought to myself if it would have been better to accompany them. Being outside of the house? Would that really make me feel better? Well maybe not, but at least I would be with Grandpa and Grandma. No, even Grandma and Grandpa weren’t the same as the feeling of security I got from Mom. Maybe it would still help. I dropped the idea. No use fighting war with myself if the clocks can’t be reversed. I liked having something to think about, though. It distracted me from thoughts of the present. Just keep thinking about something and it will all blow over. But I couldn’t keep deluding myself from what was outside.

At the time, ever since I was little, rain had terrified me. Thunder and lightning did more so, but they appeared less common, as I remember. I did not consider rain being water, since I was perfectly fine with that. It seemed that rain was more of some different kind of liquid that held bloodcurdling properties. However, rain was very perplexing to me. When I got caught in rain, I would not feel fear unless there was thunder or lightning. I would feel concern for my clothes or possessions that could be damaged by the rain, but it was not intimidating. It was only when I was inside, looking and watching the rain, that I felt the full force of its threatening nature. It may not have been exactly the rain that I feared, but what it could bring. I had heard terrible stories of natural disasters such as tornadoes, hurricanes, ferocious wind storms, etc. It may not have been, but I felt as though rain had caused all of these.

The storm was intensifying. I had no idea of where to go or what to do. I left my window and ran to the comfort of my parents’ room. They had a fancy tempurpedic mattress that I had always envied. The thunder’s boom echoed through the silent house. I jumped into the bed and enveloped myself in the plump, flower patterned covers. Looking back, it amuses me how distinctly I remember my parents’ bed. This was probably because it was my “safe haven.” When the rain got louder, the deeper and deeper I forced my body into the covers. My hands were pressing so hard against my ears that they both ended up hurting. I again tried to think of something to keep my frightening thoughts at bay. Then I had a genius idea. My hand instantaneously reached for the remote. The movie that turned on is a blur to me now. All I remember was that it was animated and that rain was falling from the sky. But unlike all my images of rain, the sun was shining. No, not shining but pounding on a deserted wasteland of dirt and sand. Then magical, sparkly rain began to fall on the ground. All sorts of trees and vegetation began to populate the fields that had once been barren. The area was abundant with green, fertile land. After the rain had subsided, medieval looking villagers began to rejoice. In the sky, hung one of the most fantastic things I had ever witnessed. A beautiful combination of colors called a “rainbow” stretched over the land. Lucky for me a grandmother was explaining to a young girl how these rainbows appear after rain. This beautiful, majestic thing came from the rain that I had come to fear for so many years?

I followed the vivid, cascading colors with my eyes. What? How? Why?! With complete disregard to the pounding rain outside, I tried to gather the thoughts in my head. I laugh at myself. Why had this been such an important moment in my life? Why had it been so hard for me to compile those strange, new ideas that this little animated movie or show had brought me? It is because until that point, I had lived in fear. A fear that terrorized my very soul. Something so natural and simplistic had brought up so much terror, and now this beautiful rainbow was leaving me with conflicting emotions. My eyes wandered to the tightly shut window. I hesitantly walked toward it. Those few minutes I had sent watching TV had actually been around an hour. The thunder and lightning had faded so that all that was left was light, calm drops of rain. For once they actually looked… kind of pretty. Clear and tranquil, as the wind pushed it in different directions.
My fear of thunder and lightning had lessened with age but I still feel discomfort when it comes. With age comes maturity but also new fears and a higher sense of how real threats are. Rain does not bother me that much any more; In fact I looked forward to it when I have soccer practice early in the morning. However, I am also no longer so fascinated by rainbows. I just ignore rain; I usually don’t seek it or fear it. I think that my life is much better because of this experience. In an imperfect world filled with disappointments and fears, I’ m glad I have one less problem to deal with.