Missing You | Teen Ink

Missing You

January 8, 2013
By Anonymous

It all started 14 years ago. I was one years old. My mom and dad weren’t married, and my mom was still in high school. She worked a part time job at many places. My father worked full time. I had to stay at my grandma’s and aunt’s houses most of the time. I had a sister who was four, but she lived with her grandma. My mom and dad were not doing well. They fought and fought. My mom tried everything to leave, but my dad tried everything to make us stay. He stomped on my mom’s foot and left a scar, and he locked her in the house. There are many more examples, but I don’t feel comfortable sharing them.

After my parents went to court, the judge agreed to let my dad see me every other weekend. I went to his house every other weekend until I was four years old. He moved to several places that were father away. He didn’t settle down in a house or apartment for 12 years. He stopped picking me up the further away he moved. He also stopped calling me. I only saw him on Christmas, Thanksgiving, and occasionally my birthday. Once in a while I would call him, and he would come pick me up. I lost all contact with everyone on his side of the family except for my sister.

My dad was a partier. He didn’t want to grow up. He got a new girlfriend almost every few months. This was hard on me. He finally found a girlfriend that my sister and I loved. We actually thought things were going well. They were together for over two years. Shortly after that, she left him. Now she is married and has a daughter. My sister and I still talk to her and she visits us as much as she can. After she left my dad, he found another girlfriend. Everyone hated her. She drank and smoked a lot. She dressed terribly and spent all of my dad’s money. She left her clothes everywhere on the floor. It got to the point where the only place that you could see the floor was in my sister’s and my room. No one could even walk into the apartment because her clothes and shoes were everywhere on the floor. My dad started to hate her but she refused to leave. After two years my dad kicked her out. She hated my sister and me so much. That is one of the reasons my dad stopped talking to me. Then he found a girl named Jessica.

My dad and Jessica have been together for four years, and they are engaged. Their wedding is in August. Finding out he was engaged was a huge surprise. The reason it was a huge surprise was because my dad used to say, “I don’t believe in marriage.” My sister and I asked if he believes in marriage now, and he told us no and not to tell Jessica. He just wants to make her happy. She is a very quiet person. I think she is shy. She is a very nice girl. My sister and I like her a lot. She makes my dad come see my sister and me. She tells him she wants us to come over, and be a part of their family more. She even told us she wants us to be bridesmaids and help plan their wedding. I am so excited. I have never been in a wedding. I don’t even remember the last time I was at a wedding.

The one thing I hate that my dad does is he tries to buy my love. He gives me money and gifts all the time. Whenever I go to his house he tells me I can do whatever I want. I can go wherever I want also. He is always working when I go to his house, so I don’t see him a lot. He lets me drink as much soda as I want, which I am not allowed to at my mom’s house, without asking. He just bought me a $60 dress. I don’t mind that he lets me do whatever, and gets me anything. I just don’t like the fact that I know it is only because he regrets his decisions. Not only does he buy my love, but he lies, too.

Three years ago at Fall Festival I was looking at my insurance card, and I found a name on the card. I had never seen the name or heard of the name before. I asked my mom who it was, and she didn’t answer me. We went to the demo derby. I was snotty with her because I she didn’t answer me. She finally said it was my brother. I was surprised. I asked my dad, and he denied everything. My mom’s whole side of the family knew, and my dad’s side of the family did, too. My dad’s whole side of the family denied it also. I called my sister and she said she found out we had a brother 3 years before I did. I was the only one who didn’t know. I felt lied to and left out.

Another thing my dad lied about was he used to tell me he didn’t have enough money to come see me or pick me up. Well I happened to find out he would go to my sister’s house almost every weekend. Her house is only 10 minutes away from mine. That really hurt my feelings. I used to cry on the phone to him all the time. I felt like he didn’t like me. He told me he did and he denied that he went to my sister’s house. My sister’s name is Shannon. She just graduated last year. She is very nice, but she is kind of like my dad. I don’t talk to her much or see her. I see her every Christmas and once in a while she will call me and ask if I want to hang out.

Ever since I found out about Kyle, my brother, my dad and I got closer. I got him to admit Kyle was his son. He told me that he had Kyle with one of his girlfriends when I was five. She didn’t want my dad to have contact with Kyle; that is why he never mentioned him. After my dad told me about Kyle, I started talking to Kyle. He looks exactly like my dad.

Since my dad and I got closer, we talk a lot more. He calls me and visits me more often. Even though he lives an hour and a half away, he finds a way to come see me. I really love my dad, and I don’t know what I would do without him.



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