My life is like a roller coaster, always going up and down, twisting and turning. Making your stomach churn, and scream your lungs at the top of your lungs for someone to help you get off of it. It has never been stable at my house, not once. My parents are all over the place, my siblings don’t know what to do with themselves. We have been moving from house to house, it all adding up to ten to fifteen times, never staying in one place.

So my parents, neither of them have a steady job. My dad is a construction/carpenter worker. He never finished high school because his dad went to jail and his mom was murdered. He has anger issues and wants us all to grow up way too fast. My mother on the other hand, she went to college for four years and got pregnant and dropped out. She finally graduated at 40 years old. She was sheltered and takes a lot of problems that her and my father have on us.

My siblings have no desire to leave. They want to help and take care of our parents. I on the other hand want to leave. I have big plans and I will achieve them. I want to go to U of M or state. I want to get multiple degrees. I want to get a major in Marine biology, two minors in Veterinarian, one in Journalism, and finally get a major is nursing. I want to do so much because I want to do something useful.

Another option I was looking at was joining the navy. The navy has amazing programs for medical field or just the science. I want to feel like I deserve the land I live in, and the freedoms I receive. I want to do my part for this country and what better way than joining the military. I don’t want to feel useless, I don’t want the credit or money. I want to do something. That’s something no one seems to grasp. It’s not for money or to be honored it’s to be make something of my life.

People normally look up to their parents and want to follow them through life, I envy those people. I look up to my parents for working hard to keep us fed and a roof over our head. Always making sure we had what we need, but I will NOT be like them. I refuse to put my future, family, and friends through the same things I have watched.

To put them through the stress on the people I care most about. You see when I was younger my parents fought a lot more. Always screaming and yelling normally about one of us kids, and one time it went to me fighting back. I remember it all too clearly, we were sitting in the living room and they were telling me that my report card was bad because I got a C. They blamed it on me hanging out with friends during exam week and I snapped. I shouted and yelled that I deserve to relax too and that it was ridiculous that I was getting in trouble. My mother and father had no fear of yelling back and it was a screaming battle. How my brothers could get away with these things and I didn’t want all of the pressure. They went on about how it was different and I felt that my brothers were the favorites because they just did what was told. They didn’t care about anything as long as it got done. Or when my older brother and my father got into a huge fight over money. I was never so scared and never so heartbroken over watching him leave. Today I rarely hear from him, and my parents say they love each other but I feel like they are lying. My world was perfect and it was torn apart because my mother and father thought they were perfect, and would not take help or advice from others.

My parents don’t understand how they made me feel, how they still make me feel, but they know I want to leave. They know how I feel about them, even though they won’t listen or try to understand my point of view I love them. I believe that when I leave it will hit them hard that they need to do better for the three little ones than what they did for the three older ones.

I love my family and I wouldn’t change anything because they have taught me how to survive when things got tough, but my future will be better. I may just be a simple sixteen year old girl, but I’m full of determination. I can’t wait to look on this in the future and thanking my parents even if they don’t understand how much they have helped me figure this out.

So look out, twenty years from now I’m going to be either in the service or on my way to something big. Whether that’s a Marine biologist or a Journalist. I am working hard and I will not fall. I will remind myself what my parents tell all of us, “do better, and make a life for yourselves.” It’s been rough but the roller coaster always comes to a stop, your stomach calms down and the scream turns into laughter.