When we got to the driveway a girl was propped up against a silver car. Her hands were pressed up against the back door and her head was in between her arms. Her long brown hair was draped over her face, and she was swaying back and forth trying to keep her balance. She flipped her hair back, turned around quickly, and vomited as she leaned over the metal fence. We continued to walk past the girl in her stupor toward the back yard.

There was a blue tent with a slit on the front standing right before the garage. Each one of us took our turn to lift the flap and go under. Right at the entrance was a beer pong table with red cups already taken out of the game Coolers were filled to the brim with ice and what looked to be nearly every beer on the market. Lucy made her move and took two, one of which she handed to Kory. She looked at me questioningly and I shook my head. I waved my keys at her and she got the message. I wanted to be there for my friends this time. I didn’t want to put them in an unsafe position because I was selfish.

Kory and Lucy walked toward the garage. There was smoke coming out of the door along with flashes of black and white. The blaring music was coming from the back of the garage. I started to shake with the thought of seeing Luke as I followed my friends in. I had never had a harder time trying to walk a straight path in my life. I found out that night that strobe lights make me dizzy. Two kids at the entrance were propped up against the wooden wall and blew smoke in our faces. I gave them a well-deserved gesture with my left hand and proceeded toward the back. I could hardly see, but I followed the music. I knew that was where Luke would be. I hand one hand on the wall as I guided myself toward the bar. Sure enough he was behind it adjusting the strobe light.

“Turn that s*** off!” I screamed.

Luke looked over at me with furrowed eyebrows and confusion. I knew he was not expecting me to be there. I didn’t want to say anything more until he replied.


“Who did you come with?!” He yelled over the blaring music that he so deeply loved.


“Kory and Lucy!” I shouted as I looked over. Kory was still in the garage mingling with two of her other friends. Lucy was nowhere in sight.


“Take this!” He gave me his iPod. I was stunned. Luke handing me his iPod felt like a wedding proposal. I felt honored that he felt like it was safe with me. I felt blood rush to my head and I blushed. He scooted the bar stool closer to him and climbed on the bottom step. He reached above his head and fixated the strobe light to his liking. I didn’t know anyone actually enjoyed strobe lights until tonight. He put his hands on the seat of the stool and stepped off the chair one foot at a time. Every action and mannerism of his intrigued me. I gave him back his iPod when he was back on the ground. I didn’t really want to let go of the feeling it gave me.

The song that was playing had ended and he scrolled through his playlist to find another one. He bounced his whole body to the beat and tapped his fingers to the lyrics. I asked what the song was just to initiate conversation. He turned his iPod toward me and continued to bounce. I could see he was getting frustrated that I was crowding him so I walked away to find Kory. She was still with her two friends attempting to make their way out of the strobe lit garage. Lucy was nowhere in sight.

I followed the fence attached to the garage until I had reached the gate. It was already open but a crowd of people stood at the entrance. I squeezed through the group of guys that were at least a foot taller than me and made my way to the back yard. I found a clump of girls that were all wearing boat shoes and tank tops. I went up to the least pretty and more approachable girl and asked if she knew Lucu. She pointed me behind the garage. I stepped over red cups and ping pong balls as I walked through the thick tall grass that looked like it had not been mowed in weeks. I moved closer to the back of the garage and heard Lucy scream. It wasn’t a horrified scream, but the one she does when she’s having a good time. I finally reached her, and when I did she was downing a shot with three other girls.


“Lucy, how much have you drank already?”


She placed her hand on my shoulder and blinked hard. It seemed as though it was difficult to keep her eyes open. I asked her the same question again. This time she giggled and pointed to the six empty shot containers on the table and an empty cup.


“You’re cut off, Lucy. No more.” I said. I knew she probably thought I spoke another language at this point, but there was hope that she was still conscious of her decisions. I took her hand and tried to walk her over to the front of the garage, but she pulled her arm back.


“I want to stay here! These are good people. They’re really nice!” She pointed to a tall blonde guy with a sleeveless tank on. “He gave me a flower!” She said as she touched the dandelion in her hair. I knew she was going to keep resisting, so I walked around to the front of the garage where Kory was.

“Lucy is smashed. Will you watch her for a little bit?”

“Yeah, man!”

I went back into the garage. I fell over from the strobe lights. I toppled onto the guys that blew smoke in my face when I first went in. One of them asked if I was okay and called me “Lil Mama”. I’m sure I gave them a disgusted face. I kept stumbling until I reached the bar. I found Luke tossing back his drink to finish it off. He turned around and picked up the bottle sitting on the counter behind him. He put it into the same cup, and then poured in orange juice.

“I think I’m leaving!” I screamed over the music.

“Okay. I’ll text you tonight!” He replied. I guess he actually likes me when he’s drinking. He leaned against the bar, pulled me toward him, brushed the hair out of my face, and kissed me. I was dumbfounded. My hands and feet felt like they had gone numb. I smiled while leaning in to him. He had never wanted to be seen being affectionate in front of people before. I guess he didn’t care tonight. I loved that he didn’t care. I felt my face turn red and I kissed him again. I mouthed the word “bye” and walked away. As soon as I had left the garage Kory was standing with Lucy propped up on her shoulder. Lucy kept crying about leaving while faltering her way along the pavement. She started batting at the blue tarp on top of the tent. Kory lifted the opening as Lucy fell over on all fours and started to crawl underneath it. We helped her stand on the other side and both of her arms were wrapped around Kory and my necks. She did the classic “I love you guys” line before she stopped picking her own feet up. She bent over and put one hand on her knee. Kory ran while taking her hair tie off of her wrist. She quickly fastened it around Lucy's big bushel of thick curly hair. Lucy moaned for a couple seconds then Kory and I heard a splatter on the ground. We reached back and grabbed Lucy by her arms.

I realized that night that I do too much to please others. I would have never been in this situation if I had gone with my own feelings instead of trying to protect my friends. Lucy and Kory continued to be best friends but my relationship with both of them had drifted. We had gotten into a fight a couple weeks later when Lucy decided to drive Kory home drunk. Our relationship fell apart over a party I didn’t even go to. Looking back on that time I appreciate how much my priorities have shifted. I haven’t gone to another party since that night. I figured out being friends with people that drank at this time in my life wasn’t good for me. They partied for other people to like them. I realized how quickly people can change when they want acceptance. I accepted staying home.