I want to forget.

I want to forget all of the memories that are too hard to remember, too hurtful to bring back. I want to forget all of the times that I wanted to disappear off the face of the earth and be remembered as someone else, someone who could be recognized as a different person. Forget all of the times that I spent covering up and pretending to be happy. Forget the times that I lay at night with damp streaks running down my face; when I felt so hurt I couldn’t even cry.

I want to remember.

I want to remember the times when my face lit up in a brilliant smile, laughs springing from my open mouth. I want to remember the times in which I received letters; a joy on a bleak day. I remember letters that made me feel so loved; letters that spoke words in a way that nobody could ever say to my face. I want to remember the times when there was complete silence. Deep silence.

Memories of the fun times with my friends, walking through the woods, sitting by myself on the bank of a pond. All of these times in which I could forget everything, forget the extreme sadness that had engulfed my body. Erasing the depression from my mind, erasing the tears, erasing... until nothing was left.