The bell rings. My classmates begin to swiftly race to the door and leave. I take my time, I don’t want him to be waiting for me when I step out of the classroom. It has been two weeks and one day since Justin and I have started dating, but the butterflies are still roaming my belly. I hate the feeling I get when I am around him. I feel like my stomach is in my ass and my heart begins to race, sweat perspires and I shake. I think to myself that if I just gradually make it to the doorway he won’t be there when I arrive to walk me to my next class. I take the necklace around my neck into my fingertips forcing my mind to wander to other thoughts.  Nevertheless with my luck, when I finally reach the doorway I spot his curly, chestnut hair. My necklaces drops back to my chest and its metallic chill makes me jump I am already sweating bullets.

I was in 7th grade and Justin, my boyfriend at the time, was in 8th. I was quiet and I kept to myself, very introverted. Justin was loud and liked to talk a little too much, that’s just the way he was. But the more he talked the less I had too so I welcomed it. I was an innocent girl, I had never had a boyfriend before.  I hadn't even had my first kiss yet, I was saving it for the right time and person. I had grown up around fairytales and prince charmings, the perfect first kiss had to happen for me and Justin persona wasn't your typical prince charming. Justin had kissed plenty of girls but I didn’t think much of it. Justin was a sweet kid, he was a grade above me and way out of my league. He had gorgeous blue eyes that seemed to know what I was thinking everytime he looked at me. His clothes were dark and contrasted with his pale skin and made his icy eyes seem bright and lively. His clothing smelled like cologne and laundry detergent with a hint of cigarette smoke. He was incandescent, and I was, well I was average. I was a shy, short, blonde girl, average. I had no idea what fashion was, and I wouldn't dare leave the house without my hair in a sloppy ponytail full of flyaways. I was intimidated to date an older guy, who wouldn’t be?

“Hey” he beams.
He is so good looking.
“Hi”.

I look away and pull my hair behind my ear and begin to fidget with the necklace I was wearing
Justin ignores my distance and confidently claims me as his by grabbing my hand. “How was class?” he asked.
“Class was fine, boring.” I am so uncomfortable. I become aware of how many steps I am taking, I count. 1,2,3...
We continue to walk down the navy hallways, the air feels thick and it becomes hard to breath. I can hear the happiness of a girl and her boyfriend at his locker as it pours from her mouth. Laughter and loud voices fill my ears and body odor fills my nostrils as a group of seventh grade boys pass us. Middle schoolers really need to appreciate deodorant more. I become distracted by the sounds. smells, and my thoughts, but Justin regains my attention by practically screaming into my ear

“Let’s go out to a movie this weekend”.
He must have asked me a few times before pulling me away from my mind.

I smile at him and nod as we begin approach my next class. The hallways seems to stretch as I look forward. This walk seems like a lifetime with him walking by my side.  Dating is so hard I have no clue how people do this for years. When we finally make it to the classroom or the next forty- eight minutes, Justin takes me by my waist. We are about to exchange goodbyes.

Now for any other junior high couple you would happily kiss your significant other and say something along the lines of, “Enjoy biology, babe I’ll miss you so much!”

I mean seriously? You aren’t going to see each other for forty minutes and you act like the love of your life is walking away from you to go visit their partially blind meemaw in kansas for three months. You all really need to get a grip on yourselves.

I can feel his calloused hands resting on the small of my back. It sends shivers down my spine. Justin looks at my hazel eyes and then down at my chapstick lined lips, then back up at my eyes. He begins to lean forward creating no room for air. I can’t breath. oh my god is he going to… I can feel the heat rising in my chest, if this lasts any longer I am likely to faint.

Then he laid one on me! He just kissed me. He just pulled me in and didn’t even ask if it was okay! He just kissed you and everyone is watching, my subconscious so thoughtfully adds. My eyes are open and time is going so slow. It’s almost painful. His chapped lips are rough on my smooth, soft,  unkissed lips.

After what seems like a walk around the world he pulls away and looks at my eyes again, “Enjoy class babe. See you later.”

He then turns on his heels and continues in the opposite direction. Are you f***ing kidding me right now. I am now left standing alone in the hallway jaw to the floor. He took my first kiss, and didn't even ask!  Flabbergasted by the events that just occured, I walk stormed into my classroom horrified. While not paying attention my necklace latches onto the door and breaks. As if I wasn’t already embarrassed enough, now the entire class is staring at me as I try to salvage my pendant. My teacher gives me a sympathetic smile as I continue to my seat. I sit down and let out a sigh. All of childhood dreams have been ripped out of my hands Your first kiss is something you can never get back I think to myself. I distressfully stare at the wall and review the predicament, I have just been placed into. The class rambles on and the girl next to me is practically talking my ear off. Her voice become murmurs and then trails off. All I can think about is the kiss. I grew up around the perfect, romantic, unforgettable first kiss. And this kiss, was forgettable.  I hate you, Justin.