I hate life 
A lot to be honest,
Because it sucks
And I ask for help, sometimes even offer it
But no one wants it,
What should I do is the question to ask
I know, I pull out my flask,
I could try do it on my own

Or can I,
I don’t know

So all I do is sit here and mourn,
About a child that was never to be born.
Not a literal child
But a child to represent myself,
Just to prove I don't need help.
This child was never born because,
Her mother gave up on her when she was young

Too young,
The child raised herself

She taught herself everything

and to only see disappointment in her parent’s eyes

She feels a need as if to cry

But she doesn't she holds it in

Deep inside

So when people ask
‘Please tell me, what's wrong?'
I smile and say nun.

Because I've lasted this long 

I brush myself off and deal with my problems

Doomed to only see disappointment in the eyes of my dad and Mum

I'm fine I say,
Clear as day.
I am, really, ok

Or so I wish to be so I try hard

Just to fail and feel like a retard

There is no us it's just he and I,
The monster within, deep inside

There is no need to worry because I'm fine,
I swear I would never think of suicide

But it does hurt this sadness

I can't explain

The incredible amount of pain

That I must face

day by day

Hurting myself is pointless to be honest,
I don't understand the people who do it,
But then again do I even really understand myself
With the monster saying it’s just us

Who really knows,
But all I need to do is toughen up,
I can do this on my own,
I've done it more than once

I'm ok is all I say,
Because I'm fine on the outside

But not deep, deep inside

I can get through I have to try,
Its either get through or lose my happiness and die,
Deep on the inside

So I'm fine I know I am,
This is why writing is helping like this poem

I can do this I know I can,
I need to cope,
With what I have,
So the only thing left for me is, hope

It's me and the monster,
Our final duel,
I need to prove who is the one that rules,
This kingdom of my sanity,

The one I must escape

Because if I don't

It will be too late

And I can't let that happen

Not now,
Not ever

He can't take me again

I won't run to him

I can fend for myself

I can be without him

I must

I've learned I can't and never will trust him again

We are done

And this time I will win

And I will say all the time ‘Ha! I won’

I’m shaking my head

I'm not dead

No not yet

He won't kill me

I won't stop calling for help

Because he's scared 

I know he is

I know his weakness

It’s love and care

And I will hurt him
I will survive
To tell the story of him and I

And People will say

"It’s only her
To tell the story of his murder”

I just finished a story right here

A story of my self

First I was fighting him off

Now I'm almost there

And I will have the final part

Showing I am no longer scared