I hold in my hands
An envelope with my address
And a familiar namein the corner
Without a return

I hold in my hands
Twelve years ofneglect, lies, excuses
Repeated "I had no choice" and "I wasscared"
False guilt for money
Unknown family, victims of my father's"love"

I hold in my hands
Twelve years of a futurerelationship
An invitation to my past
A blank check for support
Anapology

I hold in my hands
My father
A tall man with a pointynose
Blue eyes
A stranger

I hold in my hands
My father
My highcheekbones, my almond eyes
My asthma
Me

I hold in my hands
Hopeof change
The disappointment of finding none

I hold in my hands
Anenvelope
Four tiny papers
A present for the wind