To My DEAREST,

Thanks SO much! Thanks for wasting my time and thanks for all the fake signals.

I'm SO GLAD you had fun watching me fall for you.

Hopefully you'll have just as much fun with the next girl you do this to. But I do sincerely mean it when I say thank you for the lessons you've taught me:

1. Don't ever believe a single word a boy says. Because really, actions speak louder. I thought that hug meant something - well it did for me. Did it for you? I guess not because if it did you wouldn't like HER. I guess I wasn't good enough for you to give up your religion for me. So how does it make sense that SHE is? You said I was an "awesome" friend, but I suppose not "awesome" enough since you talk to HER everyday and can't bother to reply the ONE email I sent you. That was a week ago, that I sent you that, by the way.

2. Protect your heart. I'm not a pro at karate like you are, so I can't just beat up any intruder who walks into my weakest muscle without knocking first. So I have to do more. I can't just assume, like I did for you, that a guy who talks to me is at all interested. I should have got it the first time when you'd stay online for over an hour and not even say "hi." I let you in, I opened the door for you, and you barged right through and destroyed everything in your path, without me even noticing until after it was all shattered. That's the thing about being in love - you don't realize you've got your heart broken until you really see him gone. The least you can do is return the parts you stole from me, because I'd really love to peice my heart back together again, without any holes reminding me of the time that I loved you.

3. I deserve the best. They say nobody is perfect. But just because you're not 100%, doesn't mean you can't be 99, or even 98%. I can settle for that. You were 50%. My mistake was that I thought you were 100.

Here is what you aren't:

1. Attractive. Sorry, but I don't do the pimple-exploding-blood-like-Mount-Vesuvius get-up. Try working on your wardrobe and maybe you'll have an even longer line-up of stupid girls waiting for you to just SAY THEIR NAME. That's all it takes for us to go insane.

2. Athletic. Badminton doesn't cut it, okay? Guys play hockey. Guys play soccer. Guys have muscle because they work-out, not because they smash birdies across a net all day, alright? Who will be there to cheer me on at my soccer games, and yell at the referee? Not you. NEVER.

3. Kind. Would it KILL you to talk to me? Seriously, will you be injured? Harmed in any way? Because there is no reason for this simple ignorance. I mean, you'd have to be an IDIOT if you can't tell I was absolutely in LOVE with you. Would it hurt to just reply my stupid messages? Talk to me at the badminton try-outs? Instead of playing stupid jokes and making a huge impression on half my school, try working on the friendships you do have. I guess your game is to gather as many people as you can, and then walk away once they try to become anything more than aquaintences.

I could go on, that you plenty well know, but I don't want to waste any more breath. The only reason I'm sending this to my very best friend and not to you is because I have to be CORDIAL towards you if I want to stay in on the badminton team. It's absolutely killing me to smile at you and act like everything is completely normal, while all the while I'm wishing to smash that silly old birdie at your ugly face.

Otherwise, I'll have you know, you would never be hearing from me again.

One last thing: You've taught me to snatch every oppurtunity. If I had raised my hand up to volunteer as captain for the badminton team, the first thing I'd have done was KICK YOU OUT.

Unfourtunately, I'll see you around...

Worst regards,

Hearbroken