Stifled | Teen Ink

Stifled

February 15, 2013
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski


I cry and you become
a pressing cloth,
dipped in poison,
soaked in lies.

My sobs become strangled,
robbed of sound,
while you construct my thorn-felt,
wretched guise.

You want them to see me
not as I am,
you treat me as your
reflection.

But I’m not opposed to
wonton destruction,
as long as I can escape the
dissection.

You think you know me,
you think I care,
but all I really feel
is this fear.

I fear what I cannot change,
and that is you,
a thorn in my side
that’s always here.


The author's comments:
Don't let people use you to brighten their own reputation. Be sad when you want to and scream when you have something to say:)

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This article has 5 comments.


on Apr. 2 2013 at 1:13 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

thanks so much!!!

on Apr. 1 2013 at 8:09 pm
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND, Clemmons, North Carolina
56 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.&quot; ~Camille Pissarro

  This has to be a favorite of mine. Great rhythm, very well said, blunt and emotional—overall a wonderful poem!

on Mar. 12 2013 at 4:02 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

Thank you for the advice! It was very useful :). I will definitely look at yours.

on Mar. 11 2013 at 11:31 pm
tellastory BRONZE, Concord, California
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I do understand. But I&#039;m damned if I sympathize.&quot; -Rhett Butler, Ch. 43 Gone With the Wind

Good title! I was attracted by it. :) Excellent verbs. Instead of using pressing cloth, maybe use something like...kitchen sponge...idk.  Pressing cloth doesn't quite evoke the imagery I know you mean it to bring. It's constrict, not construct. Construct is to build. :) Change the phrase "not as I am".  Bit of awkward wording there, as your English teacher would say. :) I like the final stanza.  Maybe use "forever here" instead of "that's always here", just for poetic wording.   Take these comments with a grain of salt.  I loved the poem. Could you look at mine soon? It's called "Someday".

Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 11 2013 at 3:51 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

Great use of the word wonton. I find the poem to be thought-provoking, which is always what a poet aims for.