The sun hidden behind the trees,

The stars sleeping behind the grey clouds,

The darkness seeps into her room and mind,

It could be 1 pm and she would only see the shadows from the trees.

There has never been a light strong enough for her to see.

No matter how hard she tries to make it into the clear she sinks back into her somber room

flicking the rubber band secured on her wrist.

She tries to think about a happy ending.

She tries but her brain becomes foggy and hazed

by the dark that will not leave her.

She pulls at the rubber band on her wrist.

She goes to her job, the same routine every day.

The shadows of coworkers pass by her

as the dim room sucks every ounce of hope and joy out of her lungs.

She sits. Starts to get to work, but she is incapable.

She cannot focus on anything

with this pit in her stomach eating her alive.

She pulls at her rubber band.

Trying harder and harder she starts to regain focus.

Day by day the struggles get worse and harder to deal with.

The darkness invading her mind gets harder to control.

She cannot find herself in this empty person she has become.

She tugs at the rubber band again.

She focuses her attention on herself,

blaming herself for all the darkness in this world.

Pulling harder and harder at the rubber band until the shade blocks her thoughts

making her stiff.

She wanders out into the thin cold air behind the office

into a vacant dark alley.

Flicking the rubber band again and again

she lights her cigarette;

the one source of light in her life.

She takes a puff.

The darkness seizes the smoke until all she can see are the trees in the distance blocking her from the sun; from the light.

Puff by puff she sinks into her shirt to hide.

Hiding in plain sight from the fear of herself.

Quivering with her knees pressed against her chest

in the back of the pitch-black alley,

she takes another drag on her cigarette.

Pulling her rubber band one last time,

she vanishes like the cigarette bud, leaving her cold body behind.