I thought I was doing okay
Because
People came back like forgotten memories or
A lost earring

And because for a second I didn't feel like
Ripping my veins
Out
And stringing them in the trees to feel
Beautiful again

I thought I was making it, because for an hour
I wasn't sitting in an
Uncomfortable
Chair
Listening to pretty lies and longing for
My childhood

I was being saved again and I felt
God
Instead of the razor edge

But I
Guess that there are still things like
Relationships
I don't have the strength to hold onto

And I'm slipping,
Dripping

And I think I may be worse
Than I was when
I was just
Empty

Because I remember. God,
I remember

But I think I'm too in love with darkness to
Let it go
And way too nostalgic to
Die