There was a feeling
I didn’t know why it was there
Every time I would think about it I would want to cry
“Why was it there?” I would think often
I was in my room, the lights turned off
As I layed in the dark, I felt it again
Anger? Pain? Tears coming soon?
The presence of no one gave me the freedom to cry
The darkness gave me the freedom to cry
Was it the light music in the background that sparked the tears?
Or was it the memories?
“If the memories, what memories?” I would think often
There were none, or at least not any that I remembered
I felt alone, let down, and full of melancholy
Why was I tearing up? Nothing bad had happened in a while
Life was going well
Why was this loneliness feeling here?
“Forget it. Dont think about it,” I would tell myself
It’s always been like this
I would tell myself to forget it. Dont think about it.
I would listen to myself and cut the pain, but it would always appear again
How long could I ignore it?