I wish you understood as much as you think you do

Maybe then I wouldn't break down quite as much

You know what happened, the basline of my insanity

But I want you to know how I feel towards the boy who dropped me, my ex-best friend, and the one I'm in love with

I want you to understand

everything that's going on in my head

The way it spins when I remember the details of last weekend

The way it poundswhen I see them together

The way it screams when the same thing happens to me over and over again

But how could you understand

If I'm being honest, I don't even understand myself

I don't know how to prevent my sob fests

I'm not sure why I let it all get to me

But I do

It eats me from the inside out and I knpw I can't be the only one

So why do I feel so alone?

Throw a punch,

Shove me around,

Cut me deep.

Physical pain is better then emotional

You can't fix what's throwing you body off guard with a damn bandaid

It'd be easier to fix a bullet wound with one

This generation is so messed up

Everyone's hurting and nobody's willing to help

It takes a tv show for people to realize that there are others hurting more than you

And everyone's first reaction is to be mean, to tear you apart

I just can't stand it anymore

Don't tell me it'll be different

That only time will tell

I've heard it a million times and it's all a big lie

The same thing will happen over and over and over again

Like a broken record, if you even know what that is anymore

She's always going to bully me

And the fears always going to be with me

He's always going to treat me like i'm nothing

And i'm always going to let him

She's always going to stab me in the back

And im always going to pretend like I don't notice

And ten years from now I'll look back and realize that I was right

The same thing happened again and again just with different faces

I miss her

I need him

I crave you

I just want unconditional love and a decent nights sleep

Is that really too much to ask?