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toothless thunder MAG

August 12, 2013
By Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
More by this author
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

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The scientific [no-one-cares-about-you]
experts
say that thunder is a
fear-inducing natural phenomenon,
reducing little kids
and puppies alike
to spasms of terror-laced quivering.
But I say that a phobia of solar eclipses
would make more sense.
Last time I checked,
thunder doesn't freely donate Vitamin D.
It's a toothless mutt biting your rear.
You hear the throaty growl issued,
you flee, fleshy legs pumping, and NOOO!

Wait, what?

You have a gummy canine mouth slobbering on your jean bottoms.

Wow, really scary.

© Chelsea C., Auburndale, FL

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 16 comments.

crazysockmonkeys SILVER said...
on Apr. 20 2015 at 5:56 pm
crazysockmonkeys SILVER, Boynton Beach, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I think of writing as something more organic than words, something closer to being than action.&quot; -Tennessee Williams

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The first three lines are by far my favorite, because it's so true. Amazing job with this poem!
JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 25 2015 at 1:54 pm
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 523 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, &#039;I just don&#039;t care.&#039;?&quot;

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This is AWESOME. Honest to God. I very rarely come across poetry like this - smart, quirky and sarcastic. I absolutely love it! Congratz on the publication! :):):)
Ray--yo PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 24 2015 at 7:04 pm
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)<br /> &quot;I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.&quot; -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

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Haha, really cool. Loved it , you're incredible :D
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Oct. 31 2013 at 9:51 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

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urgh I said right now twice.
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Oct. 31 2013 at 9:50 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

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Thanks <3 Sorry, I literally cannot email right now. Too painful to sit up right now. I have two dislocated ribs. Maybe that'll be the next thing I write about XDD
Mckay ELITE said...
on Oct. 23 2013 at 5:09 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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Just for that, I'm giving you five stars. 
Mckay ELITE said...
on Oct. 23 2013 at 5:09 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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Hey, Krasota, long time no talk. You need to email me. :P Any way, I wanted to personally (well, not literally) but at least be the first to congratulate you (again) on being published for this marvelous poem. That's twice in one magazine! Wow! I haven't done that...yet. XD Congrats; you deserve it. 
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Oct. 3 2013 at 7:07 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

View profile
ARGHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T RESPOND TO YOUR WORK T.T ah well. I shall read it faithfully ^_^
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Oct. 2 2013 at 9:50 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

View profile
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL <33333 I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU AND GAH YES I SHALL CHECK YOU OUT TOMORROW (I'd do it today but I've got to get ready for school tomorrow cause I wake up at 5:45 so yeah, BUT I SHALL DEFINITELY CHECK IT OUT TOMORROW). LOVE YA, MY POETIC TWIN <3
hazel grace said...
on Oct. 1 2013 at 9:53 pm
hello krasota :) it's hazel. I had to leave the site becuase people found out, and I thought about you and i'm glad to see you are writing just as amazingly as you always have :) i have an account at hello poetry under hazel grace. so if you want to check it out feel free. Stay gold <3 
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Aug. 31 2013 at 12:00 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

View profile
Thank you! :D
Shards_of_my_soul GOLD said...
on Aug. 28 2013 at 12:28 pm
Shards_of_my_soul GOLD, BHUBANESWAR, Other
17 articles 15 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
if you can&#039;t handle me at my worst,<br /> then you certainly don&#039;t deserve at my best!<br /> <br /> it is the events that shape our lives, <br /> but it is the choices we make that define us...<br /> <br /> life is not about finding yourself,<br /> life is about creating yourself

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a poet like you shouldn't ever go unnoticed....excellent work of art!!!!!!
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2013 at 11:05 am
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

View profile
Thank you! :D
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 14 2013 at 5:57 pm
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND, Clemmons, North Carolina
56 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.&quot; ~Camille Pissarro

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This is seriously great. I love the lighthearted and witty style you incorporate, as well as your creative use of metaphor (Thunder as a toothless dog? That's awesome). Great job with this one. :) I look forward to reading more of your work!
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Aug. 13 2013 at 2:43 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If it weren&rsquo;t for the coffee, I&rsquo;d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.&rdquo; &ndash;David Letterman

View profile
I actually haven't read her work (crazy, because I read ton of poetry, both on and off TI). Lol, I've been described as cynical and sarcastic. Anyways, thanks a lot! It means so much to me that you discovered that I had an Editor's Choice Award even before I did and decided to comment on it XD Keep on writing, friend!
Mckay ELITE said...
on Aug. 13 2013 at 2:36 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

View profile
I can't remember what poet you remind me of.... Marianne Moore, that's who! In your poetry, you tend to be witty (in real life too, I bet) and quite cynical in a way. You have attitude that dumbs things down like in this case thunder for people that might not understand. You have the spark that Moore often incorporated in her poetry. You are one of the "genuine" she describes in "Poetry". This poetry demonstrates your talent with your tone and imagery that is sharp and clear and humorous as well. Congrats on the Editors' Choice! Catchy title too.