I still remember the day I wanted to die.
It was the day the world told me I was different
when I realized I don't belong
When the world let me know.
Have you ever been in the hands of cruel words?

It started with a few giggles
And then spread like a pandemic.
It came like a wave,
Breaking each table as it came closer to me.
The wave hit my heart directly.
I was alone.

"Darker than midnight," one of them said,
I realized they were making fun of me.
I tried to laugh with them but it only made it worse.
I searched for my friends,
I was alone.

"There. We can finally see him now," one of them said.
Somebody had turned on a flashlight
And let the beams of light inundate my face.
My eyes stung.
I tried to fake a smile, while at the same time hold my tears back,
I was alone.

My heart sunk in a whirlpool of sadness,
How could people be so mean I thought.
I grabbed my jumper and ran to the bathroom.
I buried myself in tears,
let the scars of hurt open fresh wounds
all over my body
A few of them knocked on the bathroom door.

They might have felt bad. Maybe.
I did not give them the benefit of forgiveness.
I held my tears back and stayed silent until they left.
I was alone.

"Why? Why couldn't I be like them...normal," I asked myself.
But if that's what normal is,
Then I would rather be different.
I stayed in the bathroom the rest of the day,
Buried in tears and hurt.

I stayed silent the rest of the bus ride,
I waited for everybody to get off before I could let go... I cried silently.
Mum was home early that day.
She saw the tears in my crimson coated eyes.

"Mum, I hate being different. I hate myself," I told her.
Mum broke down. It was the first time I saw her cry.
She embraced me tightly and we lay that way for a while.
"You are special and the other kids only make fun of you because you are."
My heart was sinking underneath volumes of pain
It was my mother who pulled me out. Saved me in fact.

Saved me from the hands of cruel words,
I finally was not alone.